http://skykoh.blogspot.com

HIS ZTORY
HIMZELF
HIS FRIENDZ
HIS TAGZ
HIS PAZT

Sunday, July 16, 2006 1:14 AM

From: "Yantian Koh"
To: skykohwc@hotmail.com
Subject: letter
Date: Sun, 18 Jun 2006 01:07:30 +0800

Just wanted to say something from the bottom of my heart now... I might not be able to express myself very well... but I really plucked up a lot of courage to say it… and took the risk of you hating me.. so forgive me if it sounds nonsensical but I want to say it now before I don’t have any chance in the future...

actually you might not know that but I really like you a lot… and this is my first time feeling this way… and sometimes my whole mind is filled with you that I am unable to concentrate on my own stuff… sometimes I deny wanting to hold your hand or lying on your shoulder… coz I was afraid that you might think that I am an “anyhow” person…but actually I feel otherwise... I don’t know whether you have this feeling but it’s true... I really enjoy all the times I had with you… I get really happy… whenever I feel down… the first person I thought of was always you… and sometimes once I put down the phone or when you go offline… I suddenly feel lost… I get rather insecure and worried… about whether the promise will be forgotten… coz 4.5 years is long... this feeling is really very bad… sour and cry-able (you get what I mean)…I know I am weak but sometimes I feel that bad I cry… I guess that is my weak point here… and sometimes I want to call you but I was afraid that you might be angry with me for being irritating and expecting too much from you... I have never told you about this nor shown in any way coz I was really afraid that you will not like me anymore after knowing (because I know you don’t like people crying)… but it’s really not your fault so don't blame yourself or anything... I guess I am really taking things so seriously but that just something I cannot control… you have already made it very clear that we will be very good friends but I guess I am falling too deep and taking things too seriously. Sometimes I really hate myself got falling too deep… for taking things so seriously and not taking things easily… for liking you too early and not meeting you 5 years later…

now that I have voiced out my feelings… i feel much better and I will not live with regret… maybe you’ll feel that I am being stupid… maybe you haven’t had this feeling before… but it’s not a good feeling to have... next time if you get this feeling you’ll understand… actually I won’t blame you if you don’t like me anymore… at least I know it is impossible and it is me being yi xiang qing yuan and I will try to give up… I can see that you are trying very hard to lessen the hurt so I thank you in advance… now I totally understand why parents don’t want their children to get into a relationship so early, they just wanted to save us from the hurt of relationships..

Finally, if it is still possible, I really hope to see you in 4.5 years time. Before that, I will try to get over this and carry on with my life until your 21st birthday arrives. We’ll purely be friends first. I promise that. Concentrate on your studies. I love you. Good bye. (I hope i still can continue to call you or sms you :) )

Love,
YanTian

*skykohwc*;

*****